Brave New Wudu - Q-News July 2006, Issue 367

In the history of technological innovation, there are certain landmarks for the Muslim faithful: the printing press gave us the means to craft lengthy and scholarly tracts to cut each other up; the onset of aeroplane travel meant the end of journeying to Makkah on camelback and fighting off bandits, disease and deadly sand storms; the introduction of conveyer belt technology and cassette recorders meant an endless supply of halal beef, lamb and chicken, and the end of taking a knife to an animal in the front yard (or bathtub); and were it not for the television and the Internet, we would be consumed by petty, local and parochial interests - instead of the ummah we now are. Some would say that the Turkish toilet hose pipe, or the squirting water mechanism on the back toilet rim, represent a defining technological moment.

We here at Q-News, however, are intrigued by the Auto Wudu Washer, designed by the Australian company, AACE Worldwide Ltd. This “Islamic pre-prayer ablution system” will revolutionise the sunnah of correct ablution, as practiced by millions of Muslims through the centuries. In this new three-stage technology built in to a wall, simply lean in to the stainless steel ear and facial washer and feel the Auto Wudu Washer get to those hard to reach areas up the nose and around the ear; place your forearm into a second compartment and feel confident that the water has reached well above the elbow; and finally, lift your foot hardly inches from the ground and in to the foot and ankle washer and feel the tickling sensation of pressurized water passing through your toes.

It is all sharia-proof. It has to be, you see. The cartoon imam on the promotional material is wearing a proper kufi, kurta-pajama, and beard. He is not conflicted or doubtful. And he is not being harangued by the cleaning staff for creating a mess on the floor. After all, the Auto Wudu Washer avoids spillage, dries automatically, reduces lines in washrooms, and is clean and hygienic.

New technologies take time to be absorbed. The vast majority of Muslims are still dealing with the automatic-sensing taps in washrooms, and the disappearing toilet flush handle. Escalators still confuse thousands of pilgrims every year during the hajj. No doubt the Auto Wudu Washer will confound many. But through million dollar public information campaigns and classes, Muslims will embrace this new technology.

It may all prove to be unnecessary, however. Q-News has learned of secret medical research that will result in the un-breakable wudu. More solid than steel, this wudu cannot be broken by any bodily function and won’t require a machine with ISO 9000 certification.

- Affan Chowdhry